The Mafia

We've a new boss here at the moment.

The Kiwi has left us for good which was no bad thing, but in his place is a bloke whose just parachuted what seems like all his mates from his previous job in, creates 120K+ roles for the lot of them with nothing for us.

I am now mentoring and supervising three new starters. No extra pay of course.

Touching Base

Ever noticed how we don't meet any more?

We just "touch base".

Curious.

Hairy Little Monkey's Obsession

I’ve a work mate here who is into Herbalife – some cultish product that one is meant to inveigle your friends and family into.

He (and let’s cloak him in the secure cloak of a nickname – Hairy Little Monkey) is obsessed with selling it, networking with people and generally doing the whole Herbalife thang.

The Hairy Little Monkey spends more time here on the phones doing his networking than he does doing his actual job.

This throws more work onto me and our other colleague.

Death and shitfire.

Oh managerial powers of observation, where are you?

Shredder

> -----Original Message-----

> From: xxxxxx

> Sent: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

> To: xxxxxx

Subject: Shredder in XX XXXX office

The shredder seems to getting lots of use and I wonder if it will be worn out earlier than necessary.

Documents should be shredded if they contain xxxxxxx'x xxxxx, staff-in-confidence, commercial-in-confidence, etc. Ordinary reports should be recycled via the deskside boxes and then the unlocked blue bin in xxx xxxxx.

If you fill the shredder bin, please empty it rather than leaving it for someone else to do so.

Xxxxxx

God spam from one of the programmers.

-----Original Message-----
From: XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sent: Wednesday, 24 August 2005 9:03
Subject: friends
This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, He saw me, and He asked: "My child, what is your greatest wish for today?"

I responded: "Lord please, take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends. They deserve it and I love them very much."

The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginning, but not its end.

ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote back and told her "Thanks for that."

Pencil sharpener

From: XXXXX
Sent: Tuesday, 2 May 2006 7:18
To: DL XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Cc: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Subject: Pencil sharpener

Does anyone know where it is ?

Kiwi Boss name withheld...

#################################

This is a large manual pencil sharpener - the kind with a handle.

This man gets paid more than $70,000 a year.

Kiwi

My boss asked me if I'd been eating Kiwi fruit.

Foolishly I said "Errr, yes..?"

I was told I'd made the mess in the kitchen.

Here's a pic. I was asked to clean it up.